Learn Something New

I haven’t had the chance to be creative. Who the hell am I kidding-I haven’t been me in years. CPTSD isn’t something that goes away because the scars of abuse last longer in the memory than it does on skin. I know my kids and husband suffer because of it. So, I tried to learn something new (art wise). Believe me when I say I had to FORCE myself to complete the little art course and that was even after I stopped a few days in a row to make way for my depression, anxiety, and dealing with the kids.

Kawaii according to the Urban Dictionary – An adjective in Japanese meaning ” pretty; cute; lovely; charming; dear; darling; pet” It’s stem is two kanji meaning “can love”. It is

commonly used by anime and manga fans. I had NO IDEA what this was but wanted to dabble. Now I can’t get enough and want to draw and learn more. Unfortunately I don’t have the money from some of the tutorials and even though there are images I can sketch from, they aren’t truly mine. Anyone have any ideas? But I was able to do some more sketching and then creating some digital graphics.  I would really like to do a daily comic about my life with CPTSD and interactions with family and the outside world. I’ll never do it though. As sad as that statement was I don’t have the time.

I love drawing both traditional and digital but I really want to write. I have all these story ideas and just can’t figure out how to get the ideas to make sense. I’m the type of person that needs to be shown how. Not to be belittled, talked down to or made to feel stupid. I pretty much take care of that myself. Maybe I can find an online workshop so I don’t have the anxiety of being around other people? Any idea…one’s that won’t cost me an arm and a leg?

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