Weighing In on Weighing In: Sabotage Wk 16

Just because you don’t post it doesn’t mean it’s not real…I know I didn’t post about my weigh-in yesterday but I did weigh in. Before I go into my goals and what I plan on doing differently, I would like to say that I know how to sabotage myself. I did it out of comfort and depression. Going from feeling like I can handle anything to I’m the worst person in the world.

Yes, my daughter had a miscarriage and we were all sad but she has her whole life ahead of her. I gave her my sympathy but also encouraged her to go to school. The same day that this occurred she was moving. She canceled the move back with us and instead in Texas because she told me her fiancé found a job there. I accepted that at face value and something nagged at me…why Texas? That’s when the truth came out. She found her biological father. I’m ok with that as she is doing something that I could never get him to do which is acknowledge her as his daughter. He signed his rights over because he couldn’t afford $32 a week. My father and uncle helped me while I went to work to help raise her. She literally slapped everyone in the face in the family with this move but what’s worse is she lied about it. I have completely written her off at the moment. I’m hurt and betrayed. Am I wrong? Probably but the truth is, I’m happier not worrying or thinking about her. Ultimately this is her decision and she is an adult.

With the emotional week, I did overeat, slept in, not walk, and didn’t really take care of myself. Why am I letting so much dictate my feelings? I know I can be stronger than that. I have woken up early and walked on the treadmill and making sure I eat a proper meal and stay within my points. My husband has been a HUGE support as he didn’t let me pick up smoking because of stress and compromised my wanting a HUNK of chocolate cake with a lower point chocolate chip cookie (and still stayed within my points). I ate soup that I prepared and froze and indulged in good fats in moderation (so far). I learned what self-sabotage is and trying my best to recognize this.

My Recipe of the week:
Let get real…pumpkin EVERYTHING is EVERYWHERE and even earlier this year. I see more sweet than savory recipes but it’s getting to be soup weather and played with pumpkin soup. I know…’eww’ you’re probably saying to yourself. Pumpkin is a very versatile ingredient and is REALLY good savory.
You’ll need:

  • 1 Can pumpkin (not seasoned or sweetened)
  • 1 Onion
  • 3 Cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 Can White Cannellini beans or your favorite white bean
  • 1 Tablespoon of chopped garlic (I used more because I love garlic)
  • Sage, salt and pepper to taste
  • Blender or food processor

Spray pot with cooking spray and sauté onion and garlic until the onion is translucent. Add pumpkin, broth, and beans. Simmer for 30 minutes. In small batches blend soup and add back into the pot and add seasoning. Simmer for 20 more minutes. It’s filling and I have added grilled chicken breast for more protein and my own toasted croutons.

8 thoughts on “Weighing In on Weighing In: Sabotage Wk 16

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  1. We all have off weeks. Over time you will find ways to cope with stress that are healthier. Yes…. sleeping in and eating a pint of ice cream feel good in the moment but they don’t fix what is causing the stress and make you feel worse after the fact. Over time you can replace these habitual “stress relievers” with better ones like taking a walk outside, taking a warm bath, reading a good book, art, meditating or anything else that makes you feel good. This has helped me….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was where you are now a few months ago. My daughter got in touch with the father who deserted us after beating the hell out of me for years. It was a kick in the teeth. I’m not over that especially because it caused a whole load of other problems too. I truly understand how you feel and if you want to talk I’ll be happy to. Kids huh?!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for this. Right now I feel like the world’s worst mom and I think it’s better for everyone if I distance my family from her decisions. I have 3 other kids at home and I don’t want them to feel like she’s throwing them to wayside for people she is just now knowing. She grew up with her brother and sisters. My husband said that when she learns her lesson then I have another choice. Forgive her or continue to not have anything to do with her. Kids…UGH! I much rather fight a rabid bear at the moment then worry one more minute about her.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m sorry to hear of your battle.
    Exes and their influence on our kids (and us still really – pressing our buttons) are truly maddening.
    Your daughter isn’t so much rejecting everything you’ve done for her, but wanting to find out for herself what her father is like. Sadly we can’t protect them from life lessons we learned years ago. As you say, she is an adult and has to be responsible for the choices she makes (good and bad). She’s just not mature enough to realise how her decisions impact the people she loves and who love her. She was probably trying to protect you by not telling you of the search for her father; not wanting to hurt you, but wanting to learn the ‘other side to the story’. Maybe she watched Mamma Mia too often? 😊
    Don’t take it personally. She’s now on her own journey of discovery…. Hope that helps.

    I can’t comprehend canned pumpkin as its not something we can get in NZ, as the real stuff is always around. My favourite is Thai pumpkin soup. Put some Thai spices, chilli and coconut milk. Yum

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this. It does feel like a bit of a betrayal. I hope she discovers things that she is looking for but I REFUSE to help her if needed. No one from that side of the family helped me raise her.

      No canned pumpkin in NZ? The things you learn 🙂 I am going to have to try to make a Thai version of pumpkin soup 🙂


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