Weighing In on Weighing In: Sabotage Wk 16

Just because you don’t post it doesn’t mean it’s not real…I know I didn’t post about my weigh-in yesterday but I did weigh in. Before I go into my goals and what I plan on doing differently, I would like to say that I know how to sabotage myself. I did it out of comfort and depression. Going from feeling like I can handle anything to I’m the worst person in the world.

Yes, my daughter had a miscarriage and we were all sad but she has her whole life ahead of her. I gave her my sympathy but also encouraged her to go to school. The same day that this occurred she was moving. She canceled the move back with us and instead in Texas because she told me her fiancé found a job there. I accepted that at face value and something nagged at me…why Texas? That’s when the truth came out. She found her biological father. I’m ok with that as she is doing something that I could never get him to do which is acknowledge her as his daughter. He signed his rights over because he couldn’t afford $32 a week. My father and uncle helped me while I went to work to help raise her. She literally slapped everyone in the face in the family with this move but what’s worse is she lied about it. I have completely written her off at the moment. I’m hurt and betrayed. Am I wrong? Probably but the truth is, I’m happier not worrying or thinking about her. Ultimately this is her decision and she is an adult.

With the emotional week, I did overeat, slept in, not walk, and didn’t really take care of myself. Why am I letting so much dictate my feelings? I know I can be stronger than that. I have woken up early and walked on the treadmill and making sure I eat a proper meal and stay within my points. My husband has been a HUGE support as he didn’t let me pick up smoking because of stress and compromised my wanting a HUNK of chocolate cake with a lower point chocolate chip cookie (and still stayed within my points). I ate soup that I prepared and froze and indulged in good fats in moderation (so far). I learned what self-sabotage is and trying my best to recognize this.

My Recipe of the week:
Let get real…pumpkin EVERYTHING is EVERYWHERE and even earlier this year. I see more sweet than savory recipes but it’s getting to be soup weather and played with pumpkin soup. I know…’eww’ you’re probably saying to yourself. Pumpkin is a very versatile ingredient and is REALLY good savory.
You’ll need:

  • 1 Can pumpkin (not seasoned or sweetened)
  • 1 Onion
  • 3 Cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 Can White Cannellini beans or your favorite white bean
  • 1 Tablespoon of chopped garlic (I used more because I love garlic)
  • Sage, salt and pepper to taste
  • Blender or food processor

Spray pot with cooking spray and sauté onion and garlic until the onion is translucent. Add pumpkin, broth, and beans. Simmer for 30 minutes. In small batches blend soup and add back into the pot and add seasoning. Simmer for 20 more minutes. It’s filling and I have added grilled chicken breast for more protein and my own toasted croutons.

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