Update About Me

Last night for Valentine’s day as you may know from my last 365 Day project post that the evening was spent in the ER. I have been having a really bad week in a toxic work environment that it finally caught up with me. It was after lunch yesterday that I had to deal with a coworker treating me like I was beneath him and talked down to me about a subject that he knew nothing about NOR would he listen to what I was trying to say. Ultimately, in the end, he learned that I was right (I’ve only been doing graphics for the company for over two years and he’s worked there less than 6 months). This prompted unpleasant behavior on both our parts. I refused to talk to him and he refused to be a decent human being.

After that little spat, my abdomen started hurting. Not like, ‘Oh ouch…I ate too much food’. It was, ‘I’m going to die here at my desk because my appendix just burst,’ pain. I had an hour and 45 minutes left of my day and sat there in pain doing graphics and dealing with people that could care less about me. I made it home and still, I stubbornly refused a trip to the walk-in clinic. My son had a little class recital and promised that I would see him sing. That’s when I felt a pop and decided that I should probably get looked at. Got to the clinic and because my symptoms weren’t a direct tell-all of what was going on I had a first class ride in a wheelchair to the ER side of the building.

They were polite and asked, ‘Have you left the country recently? Has someone visited you from another country recently?’ Me still having some humor still left in me, ‘Yes, I just got back from the Congo.’ Y’ALL! You could physically see this woman cease breathing and step back. I laughed then started crying because it hurt to laugh when my husband chimed in that I was kidding.

After blood work and scans, the ER doc made it to where I could run see my son sing and come back. Luckily my longsleeved jacket hid the IV port. I got back to the ER got my pain and anti-nausea meds when we all learned that I have ulcers and inflamed intestines. I haven’t had these in almost 12 years. The last time was when I was in an abusive relationship trying to figure out how to leave him and raise kids. The ER doc prescribed more meds and I have a follow-up appointment with my family doctor. I just need to watch for blood and if any is seen then I need to head STRAIGHT back. Then he lectured me about stress and trying to find a different job to breathing exercises.

So, here I am Friday evening, my stomach killing me trying to catch up on EVERYTHING. To top it off my comments are missing here in WP along with other notifications. Please, everyone, bare with me as I try to navigate things. And THANK YOU, EVERYONE, for the well wishes 🙂 It means a lot!

Weighing In on Weighing In: Sabotage Wk 16

Just because you don’t post it doesn’t mean it’s not real…I know I didn’t post about my weigh-in yesterday but I did weigh in. Before I go into my goals and what I plan on doing differently, I would like to say that I know how to sabotage myself. I did it out of comfort and depression. Going from feeling like I can handle anything to I’m the worst person in the world.

Yes, my daughter had a miscarriage and we were all sad but she has her whole life ahead of her. I gave her my sympathy but also encouraged her to go to school. The same day that this occurred she was moving. She canceled the move back with us and instead in Texas because she told me her fiancé found a job there. I accepted that at face value and something nagged at me…why Texas? That’s when the truth came out. She found her biological father. I’m ok with that as she is doing something that I could never get him to do which is acknowledge her as his daughter. He signed his rights over because he couldn’t afford $32 a week. My father and uncle helped me while I went to work to help raise her. She literally slapped everyone in the face in the family with this move but what’s worse is she lied about it. I have completely written her off at the moment. I’m hurt and betrayed. Am I wrong? Probably but the truth is, I’m happier not worrying or thinking about her. Ultimately this is her decision and she is an adult.

With the emotional week, I did overeat, slept in, not walk, and didn’t really take care of myself. Why am I letting so much dictate my feelings? I know I can be stronger than that. I have woken up early and walked on the treadmill and making sure I eat a proper meal and stay within my points. My husband has been a HUGE support as he didn’t let me pick up smoking because of stress and compromised my wanting a HUNK of chocolate cake with a lower point chocolate chip cookie (and still stayed within my points). I ate soup that I prepared and froze and indulged in good fats in moderation (so far). I learned what self-sabotage is and trying my best to recognize this.

My Recipe of the week:
Let get real…pumpkin EVERYTHING is EVERYWHERE and even earlier this year. I see more sweet than savory recipes but it’s getting to be soup weather and played with pumpkin soup. I know…’eww’ you’re probably saying to yourself. Pumpkin is a very versatile ingredient and is REALLY good savory.
You’ll need:

  • 1 Can pumpkin (not seasoned or sweetened)
  • 1 Onion
  • 3 Cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 Can White Cannellini beans or your favorite white bean
  • 1 Tablespoon of chopped garlic (I used more because I love garlic)
  • Sage, salt and pepper to taste
  • Blender or food processor

Spray pot with cooking spray and sauté onion and garlic until the onion is translucent. Add pumpkin, broth, and beans. Simmer for 30 minutes. In small batches blend soup and add back into the pot and add seasoning. Simmer for 20 more minutes. It’s filling and I have added grilled chicken breast for more protein and my own toasted croutons.

Put A Tutu On It!!!

As you all may know, we had Dublin fixed recently. Well…we are expecting pups around Labor Day. I was so deligent about keeping the gate up to separate Dublin and Clover but I just HAD to go to the store to get stuff for dinner and made the mistake of leaving my husband in charge. I’m still angry he left the gate down because it made his life easy. Who cares?! We only had the weekend to get through until the appointment! Our job was to keep this situation from happening. But, we went out to breakfast and discussed what we were wanting and it was my daughters job to take the photos. It went better than we all had expected when we thought we weren’t expecting.

Tutu Time

I am spoiling my baby girl rotten now that she’s pregnant. I think most of it is the guilt I feel that I failed her. With this being her last litter and with me so scared that something is going to happen that she won’t make it through the birth my daughter had an idea to do a pregnancy photo shoot. Brilliant. I made the tutu at the bar Friday night. I didn’t want to use elastic because I wanted her to be comfortable. So with tulle, ribbon and stick on rhinestones she had the fluffiest tutu a princess could as for.

Location

I decided on a park not to far from my house for the photos and decided to make it a family thing. Let me tell you, I’m going to stop doing that. My son, youngest daughter, and her puppy that she just had to bring along made the whole situation stressful. So, I’m going to be selective about where we bring the kids. I only wish that the leaves were turning colors but it just doesn’t work that way. It was still a beautiful day and we made the best of it.

Photo Time

Clover absolutely LOVED her tutu and being a diva! They turned out great and my daughter has decided to complete a newborn photo shoot after the puppies are born. Now-my husband just better get on with building her the whelping box but I think that is going to be an entirely new post dedicated to that.

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She looks gorgeous and my daughter can’t wait for the puppies to get here so she can do that photo shoot. Clover’s training really helped while we were trying to get her photos done and I’m super proud of her.

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