Art of Following Dreams

‘She’ll NEVER make money as an artist! It’s a hobby, not a career that can sustain her! Plus I’m not wasting the money for her to just lose interest!’ My mother yelled at my father after I asked to join an art class. ‘You can be anything you want in this life. If you want to draw and paint then I’ll go and get what you need. You have real talent Jo. I believe in you,’ my dad gave me a hug and walked away. Years later I’m now a graphic artist, painter, writer because my father supported me.


I hope I made the deadline for Carrot Ranch’s 99-word story prompt. Backstory: This was an argument that my mother and father had. I submitted a portfolio to an art school doing a trial for younger individuals. I was chosen for them to do a home visit and seen that what I created was with a #2 pencil or Crayola watercolors. I was then accepted into the program at 13. My father was so proud, my mother, on the other hand, didn’t want to spend anything even though I was granted a scholarship. Needless to say, my father’s support helped me to where I am today.

May 22nd, 2017 PART 2

Meat and Matters and Questionable Acts-part 2

I worked Friday night at the bar and quickly learned that my work ethic, honesty, and integrity was being questioned. By who, it doesn’t matter. I have been with the bar for 3 years. 3 years without asking for a day off and only being sent home when I’m to sick to stand. I have helped many of my bar patrons with advice, been a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a mother figure, a nurse, and so much more. Instead of focusing on the negative beginning to my night, I was reminding people of the upcoming Sunday meat raffle and that all the proceeds from this will be going to help a local individuals widow and children.

I had so many people excited and promising to come. The sign in would also begin on Sunday and they were even looking forward to that. The bar was dead by 1am and I closed early. I had a huge day of shopping for the meat on Saturday ensuring that I would be able to receive the best deals possible. My family and I started the morning with breakfast at a local greasy spoon diner. My oldest daughter was not present but we all had fun and laughs just the same. This was until my 7 year old decided to ask to be an older brother. Stunned my husband and I just looked at each. My husband was the first to speak up by telling him, ‘You are the last baby. We are proud to call you are last child and only son. That is an honor that not many people have.’ This made our son smile. Panic subsided with us not having to explain the real reasons why we stopped with him. Honestly, because of my gastric bypass both my son and I almost didn’t make it and I was reliving all those fears, pains, and heartaches of never being able to have any more children. My husband and I both wanted a large family but we decided that we will not put myself in danger or the baby. My husband squeezed my hand knowing what I was feeling. This brought me back to reality and I was able to smile and enjoy being with my family.

Later, I took my son with me to go and purchase the meat for the raffle and we had such a blast. Running to get out of the rain from the car to the store or talking so seriously about which meat would be the best. He soon got to meat our local butcher and hit it of immediately. My son brought up his nightmares and tells my butcher, ‘Mom says I’m safe because she has a gun.’ (Before people lose their shit here it is-I have a lock box, and a lock on my gun, and the safety set on it. SO go fuck yourself if you have a problem. It’s my right and it helps me sleep at night knowing that I have a fighting chance if my past comes to finish me off!) and without missing a beat my butcher says, ‘I have one too, so you’re safe here as well.’ and then he winked, game my son a sucker. Then we are started to discuss (including my 7 year old) very seriously about which meat would be the best for the meat raffle. Then my son was taught the different cuts of meat and what types their was and then was promptly quizzed about which animal the certain type of meat came from. All in all a good day. The act of kindness was spending time with my son and including him in on major decisions for the huge event that his mama was planning. I’m hoping he learns that how to make an important decision through research and facts.

So here it is: Do you also include your child on important decisions that need to be made or do you let them figure out later on life how to make decisions?

May 18th, 2017

Fidgeting Support

Tuesday was the last day of my husband’s suspension at work. I have learned to let go of the anger that I felt towards the woman who started this whole thing of a free 3 day vacation without pay snitching on him smoking after he was clocked out. I really don’t have the energy to waste on imagining how I will make her pay. We spent the evening with the kids watching the Bye Bye Man. I seen that it got a lot of negative reviews but to each their own. I was fortunate enough to take a film appreciation class as part of my degree and actively watching this movie was awesome.

But earlier that day my husband took his Harley to see a brother that owns a vape shop that has just started selling those fidget spinners. The reason why he purchased one for me is because he read articles that said that they could help people with anxiety. I too seen articles that said it could help but also articles saying they don’t. The fact that he took time out of his day to do research for something that would help me was awesome and it made me feel like it wasn’t alone in this battle that takes place inside my entire body.

I took my new fidget spinner to work and it does help, specially when I’m upset with employees that are working on my last nerve just to see how far they can push me.I took my spinner and gave it a whirl…literally. I focused on my breathing while watching it spin and I found myself calming down. And the feeling of overwhelming doom looming over my shoulder spin away with every pass around the spinner made. I don’t know if there is any true help in these things but it helped me focus and find my center again. So….give them a whirl (another pun) to see if they help ya’ll in any way.

May 8th, 2017

Receiving Awesome Support and Striking a Deal

The last I wrote that I was planning the bar’s first meat raffle. UPDATE: Let’s just say it was a better turn out than what I thought it would be. The only complaints that I received were really from the people that didn’t win anything. I had to remind myself to set my personal feelings aside and realized that it was a RAFFLE. It’s literally the luck of the draw. The puppy and kitten baskets that I had put together to raffle off with the winner receiving the basket and then choosing which animal shelter to donate the proceeds was a bigger success than I thought. We were able to raise $200+. With the local shelters here taking in a lot of fur babies from the south, I know every little bit would help. I even have people asking for more baskets that they would be more than happy to donate items to the shelter along with the money raised. After a semi-successful meat raffle, I decided that we will also start a sign in since it was asked for quite a bit after the event was over.
But this isn’t the entire reason I am posting this morning. My son was complaining of a sore throat which gave me an opportunity to write a little. He’s bouncing off the walls like he is in perfect health. You know the usual situation where you rush your child to the emergency room and right when the doctor walks in you kid is fine and you look like an overly nervous parent. Yup, that has happened to me. On the 6th I was able to complete a journal entry and received a few likes and then I learned that I am also gaining followers (WHICH IS AWESOME GUYS THANK YOU!) and I decided to take a screen shot and text it to my husband. This is the conversation that occurred after: (I will try an figure out how to enlarge the images without pixelation in a little bit but I will translate.)

 

My husband has always been supportive and is trying to help keep me motivated on my really bad days and has even made me a deal. I really want time to write my short stories and work here on my blog but I only have short periods of time between jobs and chores.

The DEAL

He was and is supportive of me quitting my day job so I can write full time and pick hours up at the bar but I’m scared. Plane and simple. It’s the fear that is holding me back. I told him that if I get 500 followers and 1000 likes, I’ll quit my 40 hour week job. With low stats it will take me a great deal of time to reach those goals and work on my writing and better related information or articles that I can use to help others. Maybe even receive some advice and constructive criticism along the way. I have always wanted to write (clearly stated before and now again) and have found a new passion that I would love to explore and perfect. So here goes nothing. I’ll work hard on writing for my blog (new baby) and continue practice writing my short stories and WILL reach my goal. (Staying positive because the fact that my husband believes in me helps me believe in me.)

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