Week 4 Comic

I had a wonderful idea for my comic that woke me up. I am an OK doodler when I want to be but a horrible digital doodler. I worked on this for a couple hours this morning and realized it’s a doodle and it’s part of my new year’s goal to be creative. My little anxiety cat helped with my weigh-in this week as Y’all have already seen. This pretty much sums up what my weigh-in days feel like.

Weighing In on Weighing In: Sabotage Wk 16

Just because you don’t post it doesn’t mean it’s not real…I know I didn’t post about my weigh-in yesterday but I did weigh in. Before I go into my goals and what I plan on doing differently, I would like to say that I know how to sabotage myself. I did it out of comfort and depression. Going from feeling like I can handle anything to I’m the worst person in the world.

Yes, my daughter had a miscarriage and we were all sad but she has her whole life ahead of her. I gave her my sympathy but also encouraged her to go to school. The same day that this occurred she was moving. She canceled the move back with us and instead in Texas because she told me her fiancé found a job there. I accepted that at face value and something nagged at me…why Texas? That’s when the truth came out. She found her biological father. I’m ok with that as she is doing something that I could never get him to do which is acknowledge her as his daughter. He signed his rights over because he couldn’t afford $32 a week. My father and uncle helped me while I went to work to help raise her. She literally slapped everyone in the face in the family with this move but what’s worse is she lied about it. I have completely written her off at the moment. I’m hurt and betrayed. Am I wrong? Probably but the truth is, I’m happier not worrying or thinking about her. Ultimately this is her decision and she is an adult.

With the emotional week, I did overeat, slept in, not walk, and didn’t really take care of myself. Why am I letting so much dictate my feelings? I know I can be stronger than that. I have woken up early and walked on the treadmill and making sure I eat a proper meal and stay within my points. My husband has been a HUGE support as he didn’t let me pick up smoking because of stress and compromised my wanting a HUNK of chocolate cake with a lower point chocolate chip cookie (and still stayed within my points). I ate soup that I prepared and froze and indulged in good fats in moderation (so far). I learned what self-sabotage is and trying my best to recognize this.

My Recipe of the week:
Let get real…pumpkin EVERYTHING is EVERYWHERE and even earlier this year. I see more sweet than savory recipes but it’s getting to be soup weather and played with pumpkin soup. I know…’eww’ you’re probably saying to yourself. Pumpkin is a very versatile ingredient and is REALLY good savory.
You’ll need:

  • 1 Can pumpkin (not seasoned or sweetened)
  • 1 Onion
  • 3 Cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 Can White Cannellini beans or your favorite white bean
  • 1 Tablespoon of chopped garlic (I used more because I love garlic)
  • Sage, salt and pepper to taste
  • Blender or food processor

Spray pot with cooking spray and sauté onion and garlic until the onion is translucent. Add pumpkin, broth, and beans. Simmer for 30 minutes. In small batches blend soup and add back into the pot and add seasoning. Simmer for 20 more minutes. It’s filling and I have added grilled chicken breast for more protein and my own toasted croutons.

Weighing In On Weighing In: Week 6-More than a Number!

So…I officially hate the scale! Not because of the numbers it was showing. I have come to terms that those only represent data and not be as a person. I hope a lot of other people realize that too. It’s data for us to follow not to label us. I learned that through the connect group. No, I hate my scale because it can’t give the same number.

Experiment: Scale, Flooring, Tantrum

For the past couple of weeks, I have been questioning my weigh-ins, especially when it dropped 4lbs. Super excited and charged that I was making progress I still felt paranoid and uneasy. I got home and weighed myself on the carpet (the same as that morning) and it still gave me 186lbs. THEN I made the mistake or actually finding the truth (still wished I hadn’t) and it weighed me at 190lbs! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FU&%! I checked the scale on the living room carpet, then the tile in the kitchen, then an area rug, then the back porch. The numbers that stayed consistent were the ones on the tile and wood floor at 190lbs! This is where I threw the equivalent of a toddler tantrum that just learned a new paragraph of profanity.

I calmed down and said well, I didn’t gain but didn’t lose and that’s ok because when I weighed myself before that I was on the tile. Accuracy! This morning, however, I was a little upset that I didn’t lose but didn’t gain, AGAIN! I just breathed for a few minutes and tried to figure out what is going on.

Confessions from a Fat Girl: I will be the first to admit that my eyes are bigger than my stomach so I’m more inclined to hoard points for the 53 pretzels and guacamole then to use them on a meal. I LOVE snacking! Popcorn is my kryptonite and found a brand that’s 3 points for 3 cups. Or the veggie straws that’s a satisfying 30 crunchy pieces for 3 points. Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m more focused on quantity than quality. Maybe I’m maintaining because of my snacking?  I should focus more on the quality of food and not so much on having enough point left over so I can snack. I don’t have to snack but it’s my mindset that it’s necessary. For the next week, I’m going to focus on the quality of points used and make my meals yummier. I do need to remember that I upped my duration time during my walks and could also possibly be gaining for muscle. We’ll see how next week goes.

A recipe I used a lot last week that was amazingly good:

Mock Cheesecake:

  • 1 Sugar-free vanilla pudding snack
  • 1/4 Non-fat plain greek yogurt
  • 2 Graham crackers crushed
  • Blueberries
    Mix yogurt and pudding together, add blueberries and top with crushed Grahams. YUM! And it was all for 3 points! The yogurt added the extra protein while the berries and crackers added texture and sweetness.

Weighing In on Weighing In: Week 3

This week has been a little stressful but a little more successful. As you know last week my progress was actually not that good. I actually gained a pound. I committed to some changes and was a little bit more happy with the results. I am down to 194lbs. I was a little upset because I took a sneak peek at my weight on Wednesday and see 192lb! Still trying to wrap my head around that one.

Eat the Dailys:  This was a suggestion as my body may think it’s starving. I did just that. I ate my daily points and at least 1 or two of my weekly points. I even learned to eat out and resist temptation. I’m getting better at not drink my points but I have mastered a 5 point Bloody Mary (recipe at the end). I learned to eat at two restaurants and didn’t leave feeling like I was missing out and felt full.

The Problem: I do LOVE a crunchy snack or my sweet tooth dances in my forehead and found point positive solutions but I would like to try something else. Just because I have the points to play with doesn’t mean that it has to be junk. An alternative that I am going to try next week is to add more good fats to my diet and see if that helps curb my snacking.

My Upcoming Goals: I’m going to try and cut back on my snacking (even point positive snacks) and try to add good fats back into my diet. This may also help to curb my appetite. The WW online program updated my fit points to 64. That means more work on my part. I have extended my walks a little longer but I am going to try and add more jogging into them.

I’m more of a whiskey drinker but find that here lately it doesn’t agree with me. I love a good dark beer but can’t afford the points for that. But if I am going to part with points I want a drink with substance (and edible garnishes…Bloody Mary’s need their veggies). Ok, the good part:

My 5 smart point Bloody Mary:

 

Here’s to hoping more weight loss next week.

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